By Agba Jalingo.

 

 

 

In a way, I consider myself a culturalist. I do not jump on Western ethos without critically scrutinizing them against the background of our own culture. I love to vehemently emphasize the importance of culture in determining behavior. So, in Africa, our parents either spank or whip children when they misbehave. Not because they do not love the children, but because the fear of the cain and the spank, keeps the children away from being naughty.

 

This crucial role of the parents in the life of an African child is also generally believed to have been authorized by God, ab initio. And things that are believed to have been authorized by God are usually considered immutable. Whether you consider that, violent or not, depends on which culture moulded you.

 

Apart from this peculiarity, the infliction of pain in any form on others, particularly human beings, has to be authorized. I do not believe that a time will ever come when mankind will be free from dealing with violence. But I believe that if violence must be inflicted, it must come from authority and if it is not authorized, it should have consequences. Let me explain.

 

An injection will give me some sharp pain; that pain should only be administered by authorized persons. If you give me an inappropriate kick that inflicts pain on me in a football game, the referee is authorized to penalize you. If you want to throw punches which will definitely inflict pain on another person, there are authorized venues where people throw punches and get paid as career boxers. If you want to fire lethal bullets at others, you can gain that authority by enlisting in any of the security organizations that trail bad guys. If you want to wield machetes, the abattoir nearest to you is an authorized location for that. If you want to throw bats and sticks and truncheons, baseballers and cricketers have long authorized you to come make money from there.

 

If you feel that your friend or your spouse or your family member or your adult child or any other human being, has so offended you and you think the person deserves to be punched or beaten or shot, or bludgeoned to death, there are authorized places to get the authority to do all that. These places have tested methods of measuring the gravity of the grievances and determining which offense deserves what punishment.

 

For instance, there are courts in Nigeria that have the authority to order the flogging of any number of lashes on offenders. In fact, there is even a law that legalizes the right of a husband to beat his wife. In the provision of section 55(1)(d) of the Penal Code. It is provided that, “an assault by a man on a woman is not an offense if they are married if native law or custom recognizes such “correction” as lawful, and if there is no grievous hurt.”

 

There are courts that have the authority to order the death of any deserving offender either by gunshots or hanging or other means. Go to these designated and authorized places to get the authority to do any of those things. Doing otherwise is taking the laws into your hands.

 

This brings me to my bone of contention this morning – spousal violence. Since it is now a two-way thing, I refrain from calling it wife beating, while I recognize that wife beating is more prevalent. I am trying to say that, no spouse has a right to inflict any form of violence on the other. If you want to beat your spouse or kill him or her or kick him or her out or any other thing, please go to court and ask the court to help you or you go to the family where you married from. This path is cheaper and dotted with fewer regrets.

 

I will say for the umpteenth time that violence either on yourself, your spouse, your relation, your maid, your staff, your pet, or even a stranger, should never be justified. And extending it to your spouse in particular is a reflection of how you do not love yourself as well.

 

I am actually talking to someone!

 

Yours sincerely,

Citizen Agba Jalingo.